Succeeding Is Very Important

by Tonya Dixon | November 4th, 2010
Vonda K. Sampson

Vonda K. Sampson (Photo by Howard Gaither)

One of the biggest obstacles many people face is the lack of understanding regarding their personal purpose. People’s lives are spent searching, questioning, and seeking the right paths to take. Often, the answers are revealed through transformational events from one’s own past.

VB Still has come not only to understand her purpose but also has been able to recognize her own destructive, success hindering characteristics. It denied her the freedom and opportunities to propel herself but others. After 10 years of failed relationships and ensuing disappointments, Still realized she was dealing with a generational curse called rejection. She recalls how as a young girl she was wounded by her grandfather. “As a child I was innocent, and simply wanted to be loved and give love in return,” says Still. Her grandfather she says erroneously taught her that love had to be earned.

The years of succumbing to the dysfunctional effects of what Still terms, “the spirit of rejection”, began to take a deep-rooted stronghold in her life. She began to notice a distinct pattern in her adult relationships. That singular understanding was the turning point in Still’s lifelong duel with rejection. She questioned the root of her rejection. In her quest she found it to be fear; fear of being rejected was her personal fallacy. Recognizing the issue in her own life, but she has been able to clearly recognize the destructive behavioral patterns in others.

“Experience only becomes knowledge once we are able to grasp and understand the lesson,” says Still. “It becomes wisdom when we can use it as a reference to make better choices. Once we are empowered with wisdom, we can overcome any situation.” She considers herself the poster child for an over comer.

Making better choices is exactly what Still has done. She has essentially turned her problems and pain into her purpose. After 10 years of journaling her experiences, struggles, failures and finally triumphs, the Greensboro native authored and self published “ManChaser, Overcoming Rejection…From the Club to Love”. The title itself, ManChaser, is self-explanatory, but she will quickly explain that ManChaser is not gender specific. “ManChaser is a book for any person who is able to read and comprehend the trials and tribulations of human existence and the affairs of the heart,” she says.

The urban fiction novel, which sold out in eight days following the first shipment, chronicles the evolution of a four year old girl who walks into the cruelty of love denied. Her war scars become a testimony of a chase for the cure through failed relationships, sexual escapades with professional athletes, and an addiction to the VIP room. The chase leads her to the gutter, reaching for the extended hand of God. Through mercy, God delivers her and shows her where she belongs, but the question remains, will she receive it?

The success of ManChaser has been great. Borders bookstores has designated the novel its own BINC number, a unique Borders number which allows certain books to be found and sold in all Borders stores. Although the book has definitely propelled and repositioned Still in her career and life aspirations, it has more importantly been the cathartic medicine she needed to become completely delivered. The piece set in motion Still’s progression toward fulfilling her purpose. She began to take responsibility for her own actions. The light was revealed. It was her duty to walk therein. A person that does not know is ignorant, but the individual that knows but does not do is a fool. She is definitely nobody’s fool, and there were no more excuses. She admits looking at herself in the mirror was a painful yet absolutely necessary process. It was only when she received and understood the depth of God’s love for her, that she was able to see, love and protect herself. The evolution of the little girl, born Vonda Kay Sampson brought her to the place she relishes today.

Simply by being at the right place at the right time, divinely appointed opportunities have been opened up for Still. She has been able to fulfill her purpose of sharing her testimony, and utilizing her gift to teach from the knowledge and wisdom learned through a life lived by faith. Walking in her purpose and the power of the Lord, she has been given the chance to reach out to the masses. Once as a guest on a local radio station, she was asked to host a regular spot deemed “VB Still’s Inspirational Moment”. This is a time set aside in which she shares wisdom through biblical principles. “My goal is to empower and inspire through lessons learned by loving the hard way,” says Still.

Accordingly, empowerment is the focus of Still’s activities these days. She is now the program director for a new and innovative girls mentoring program called Ladies Organized to Serve Others or L.O.T.S.O. The L.O.T.S.O. program has opened the door for an entire women’s empowerment movement including the Girl’s and Women’s mentoring program as well as L.O.L. or Ladies of L.O.T.S.O program. The entire network and support system is something Still believes to be a part of her life’s work. It is easy to see the program has captured her heart.

“Empowering girls is like a drug, I get high, deeply fulfilled off of making a difference in someone’s life. However, the difference is I never come down, it keeps me motivated,” says Still. “When I see the eyes of a child, boy or girl, when I can speak into their spirits about what they are going through, seeing their reaction is the best form of pay check. I understand what it feels like to have your feelings and emotions validated and not made to seem trivial or irrelevant.”

Her days (nights, weekends, vacations and holidays) are filled with thoughts of the girls of L.O.T.S.O…. and she loves every minute of it. “Working with L.O.T.S.O is like a dream come true. I feel like I was born to do this,” says Still. I have less free time, because it is required to get the program off the ground, yet I feel more empowered. More doors and opportunities have presented themselves [for me] to share the testimony of ManChaser. It has been the perfect marriage.”

The key is that Still understands that perfect, purified marriage would have never taken place until she made the choice to sever her ongoing relationship with rejection and fear. Likewise, she has purposed in her heart to teach that very lesson to the many women she comes across. When she speaks of women her words are filled with fervor and compassion. She wants women to know they cannot obtain the elusive, perfect relationship with a man that they so vehemently pursue until they understand their true role as a woman. Still says this role is to nurture, cultivate and bring forth the seeds she has been given.

“Our marriage to God is more fulfilling than any human relationship, yet it’s the hardest love to understand, embrace and treasure,” Still states.

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